Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Forgotten Drafts

I was grasping for a blog to write this morning.  I had one written and then found out I had an ad obligation and couldn't use it.  I thought maybe I would find something in my Drafts folder that was salvageable because I am a lazy whore and writing two posts for today would be, like, outrageous.

Instead of emailing myself, I used to just start a post and spew whatever randomness I could think of and then save it as a draft.  And then I never went back to finish them because I suck at life.  So, of course there was nothing written that I could use to cheat on this one month goal that I have made for myself.  Way to be a winner, Jen.  Way to really set a goal and go after it.   

But since I have to post this early today, here is what I found in drafts this morning:

Title: Sleep, By Any Means
Body:  Flashlight/velcro

(My poor family.)

Title: Point it Away From Your Face
Body: Because good God, you do not want that in your mouth.


Title: Don't Forget...
Body: blank

(So helpful.)

Title: I have seventeen pizzas in my pants.
Body: I have to set a goal. If I don't, I will just end up eating a jar of Nutella every day and walking around with delectable hazelnut and cocoa on my chin and wondering why none of my clothes fit.

(I wonder if I actually published something else similar.  This sounds familiar.  Or maybe it is because I pretend I care that I am overweight but obviously do not because I keep not doing anything about my Nutella habit.)

Title: Rocking It So Hard, It Ripped
Body:  blank

(I really wish I knew what this was about because it sounds funny.)

Title: Sid The Science Kid
Body: Gerald is a douche.

(BAHAHAHAHA!  He is.  He drives me nuts.)

There are 32 of these gems.  I'm saving the rest for another day that I'm in a pinch.


Inara Jones said...

I totally agree with you about Gerald. I'm not entirely sure how his teacher makes it through an entire episode without slapping him. Love that show, but why oh why did they have to include the 'annoying kid'. Except everyone acts like he's not annoying. Lame.

HereWeGoAJen said...

Don't Forget is my favorite one

Mrs. B said...

omg gerald is that annoying adhd kid that everyone hates but the teacher has told everyone that they have to be nice to because he's "special."

Courtney said...

Re: Sid the science kid
I'm just glad my daughter doesn't like May. I mean she's cute and all, but you just know she eats paste when no one is looking. I'm happy for a Gabriella fan.

Marisa said...

I have a soft spot for Gerald. He reminds me of an old friend. But May? Yeah, May's parents must bake special brownies and let her have a few too many bites.

Candice said...

Don't forget is my fav too. :) You're doing awesome on your November blogging!

Dana said...

Hilarious! Can't wait to see the rest.

JP said...

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who does this. It doesn't work for me either.
Unfortunately, Tot tells Gerald's lame jokes. At least they are funny when Tot tells them.

kmjba8 said...

Hahaha.... I am really laughing out loud at "don't forget" and "point it away from your face". Those are really priceless! Yes, I do recall a 17 pizza's post, but I can't find it - the only thing I find is a reference to it...

LaPank said...

FYI: Aldi has their nutella knock-off for $1.99. Tastes and looks the same on the spoon in my mouth. Getting fat(ter) on a budget.

areyoukiddingme said...

I should like Sid the Science Kid, in theory, as I am a scientist. But I hate the whole show. Why is it that none of the characters ever stops moving? Do the all have ADHD or are they all on crack?

Mel said...

Gerald was extra douche-y on the camping in the backyard episode. I would have sent that kid back home to his (I'm assuming) douchebag parents. He's not bad enough to make me ban the whole show though. Cailou on the other hand...not in this house. My kid whines enough, we don't need to watch a cartoon be a little jerk to his parents for 30 minutes.

boringyear said...

These literally made me LOL... Not a good thing when I'm reading your blog while trying to get Monkey to go to sleep!

So glad someone else shares my Nutella habit... Makes me feel more normal! Nom.

My Own Wife said...

I am sure I've read the 17 pizzas in my pants before... here... still I am BAHAAAAHAAHAAing. Thanks!