Monday, October 1, 2012

The coolest thing happened on the way to the ER!

I had another success in my never ending quest to be the most pathetic and dramatic person in the whole entire world.  I've been trying to lose weight and workout and woe.  It has been one epic fail after another.  Knife pained knees, shin splints, sprained ankle, and the latest and most fantastically pitiful ailment?  Migraines.  Soul crushing migraines, 2 minutes into any workout or into anything, walking up steps.  Or, blowing raspberries on Adelle's belly. 

It has been a gradual descent into misery.  At first it was just a little headache when running which was no big deal.  Then I had a pounding migraine after doing the 30 Day Shred almost two weeks ago and I never really got rid of that headache.  And now any time I do anything that requires effort my head starts to pound and I become worthless.  Or more worthless than usual.

And since I'm not losing weight hardly at all I paid for 8 personal training sessions last week.  Then I went to the first one Friday at 10 - and left crying like a fool at 10:08 with the worst head pain I've ever felt.  And of course my doctor is out on maternity leave until November and in Jennepper luck they can't fit me in for a bullshit reason that's too long and boring to type and so I went to urgent care after two hours of alternating ridiculous behavior: writhing and crying and clawing at my head in bed and writhing and crying and clawing at my head in front of the toilet because holy impending barf, Batman.

Three and half hour wait at urgent care, and they directed me to the emergency room so that I could get a head CT and some drugs.  

BUT!  On my way to the ER I got a test from my bestie with this picture:


There's no way to explain how this happened without sounding like sort of..well, a name dropping douche canoe.  But the beauty director at Star used to be the beauty director at Redbook when I wrote for the Infertility Diaries and so really I have her to thank (profusely).  I'm feeling all Wayne's World, I'm Not Worthy. 

So anyway.  I waited another 2 hours in the ER to get pain meds that didn't work at all and a head CT that was perfectly normal.  This was Friday and I still have the migraine, but it isn't as hurty and also?  My blog was in Star Magazine!  Squee!!!

A close-up, because bragging is my favorite.

That's probably the closest I'll ever be to the Kardashians which is a shame because now that I have time to watch TV I watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians marathons so often that I am actually starting to become fond of Scott Disick.

(That's a lie.  I'm not starting.  I am full blown fond of Scott Disick.)

(It's admissions like these that make me feel as though I should be a working mom.)

(Mark is likely reading this and nodding profusely.)


Also, my blog appears to be five years old this month!  Happy birthday, blog with a title and URL that don't match!

1 year ago: When You Say Stroke, Do You Mean the "Of Luck" kind?
2 years ago:  Let Me Clear A Few Things Up
3 years ago: Working vs. Staying at Home
4 years ago: 19 Weeks: I don't need you!
FIVE MOTHERFUCKING YEARS AGO: Trying to Conceive: A month-by-month guide.


Rebecca said...

Wow, you have a new look. :)

And Wowie wow wow, you were in Star magazine!

And Happy Birthday Blog~

Jennifer said...

You are famous! I love it!! Congrats!!!

Pussy Parent said...

So cool! I hope you are feeling better.

Joelle said...

Congrats! Love that you had no idea about the mag!
And also about the migraines? I get migraines, and they come and go at different times also.
A couple suggestions...get to a chiropractor. I went a few months ago and he noticed that my neck needed realignment, and he even pointed to a spot and said...I bet you get migraines, huh? It helped a TON! sounds weird, but it worked. when you're home with the kiddos, it's way more physical, and i kept hurting my back with the kids.
also, for me, caffeine intake needs to be kept in check. I can't drink starbucks everyday, something in the coffee gives me migraines. I know when I was staying at home with the kiddos, I was drinking way more coffee, and less water, and that is a disaster. hope you feel feel better!

Stephanie said...

My husband had the same soul crushing migraine thing happen minutes into working out. He had an MRI that came back clean. Basically, he was told to rest, and not workout, and it worked. No more exercise-induced migraines! I know it sucks because you want to lose weight, but back off for a bit. I think it might have been some sort of virus. My husband also gets migraines at other times and Excedrin Migraine always does the trick.

Congrats on the blog love!

jacky lavine said...

You should see a neurologist. My daughter had a 9 month migraine cluster--- it was awful. The neurologist was GREAT. She takes preventative meds now (She is 19 and the med is topomaxx) If the preventative meds get too low, the headaches reappear.

Good that the CT was clear (phew) now get thyself to a neurologist.....


jacky lavine said...

And awesome about the blog!!

S said...

That is really cool about your being in Star!

I've had migraines since age 15, and they suck a$$!!! A unique type of suffering that just makes you want to die. Ugh.

Most regular pain relievers (even narcotics) do nothing for them, but there is a class of medications especially for migraine (Imitrex & Topamax among them) that help the majority of the time. That, and figuring out what your triggers are so you can avoid them, is what has helped me control them best.

(Oh, and I also take a daily supplement of feverfew and magnesium. And have gotten regular massage when they've been particularly bad.)

Hope you find some relief soon.

Erin said...

Another vote for the Topamax here. I was on it for two years for chronic headaches and migraines. While on it I did not have a headache or migraine, at all! It also has the side effect of weight loss and making carbonated beverages taste like crap. So, I had the added bonus of a 40 lb weight loss (I was a Mt. Dew addict). It's worth a shot if you want to try it. I had to get off of it because we are TTC and it causes birth defects. Good luck!

Leah said...

Good job on the working out but boo on the migraines. I hope they go away soon. Congratulations on your Star magazine mention. Your blog is awesome, I have been reading a long time.

Courtney said...

I'm generally not hip, but I read both your blog and honest toddler. And besides naming my daughter Penelope, I have little in common with the Kardashians. I've never felt so hip. Thanks for 5 years. Keep the honesty coming!

Anne said...

LOVE Scott Disick!! The cane! He's hilarious!!

allthesunforyou said...

This is awesome - a very big deal!

Sorry about the migraines. AWFUL!

SherilinR said...

way to go with the famous bloggery!
and now i hope your migraines will leave you alone. life cannot go on when migraines are pounding.

Missy said...

Oh Jen. FYI I had migraines for 8 years on and off and after 8 long years of having medicines thrown at me and told I was a baby and migraines suck, I saw a nurse practitioner who FINALLY noticed that I had abnormally tight trapezius muscles (in your neck between bottom of head and shoulder). Come to find out, after 4 weeks of deep tissue massage, traction and therapy that was what was causing my headaches. So now, I only get migraines twice a year and muscle relaxers usually cure the headache! Point here...get your muscles checked out! Could be whats causing them!

Rose said...

Hey, The Star has it right! Your blog is amazing, your sense of humor cracks me up, and you have adorable kids to boot. Love your blog!

So what happened with the ER? Are you doing any better?

Acia said...

I don't usually comment, and I've never had a migraine, but one of my friends from school developed this product that's supposed to help with them. I can't vouch for whether it actually works, but I can imagine with the pain you're suffering you might be willing to try anything! Here's the link: Her name is Andrea and she also just happened to have a baby girl a few weeks ago.... Hope you find something that works for you! PS - Your girls are adorable, you are hilarious, and I always get excited when I see that you have a new post :-)

Cyndi Calhoun said...

You're the third post today I've read about someone "picking up their blog" and running with it. That's great! Congrats on that magazine! I bet your pageviews will go nuts! Woohoo!

mousemouse said...

I read about your blog in Star and came online to find it. Im sure there will be lots more to follow. Congrats!

Milla said...

I'm so sorry that this has developed and is clearly making you miserable - for goodness sake universe. I hope your head continues to get better and that some of the suggestions here help. I hope that you can postpone the personal training for now.

Congratulations on your blog being in the magazine, you are certainly worthy and I'm glad this has provided something cheery amidst the discomfort. Hope the rest of the Kneppers are well,x

Amanda said...

Congratulations on the magazine and the 5 year blogiversary!

Emily said...

Holy shit you are famous! Congrats!

Um, yeah, go see a neurologist. I have/had the barfing migraines, found of sometimes my sinus cavity fills will too much pressure and blah, blah, blah. It can't hurt to get a MRI just to be sure!!

ks said...

So very cool! And of course you are the Hottest Blog! I've been saying that for 2 years! LOL!
Now that's poop about the migraines! I suffer from these as well and I had a doozy for about the last 2 weeks. I think it was a little hormone induced coupled with not enough sleep, food or water. You know the necessities! LOL! But mom always falls to the bottom of the list.
Take care I hope this migraine bout passes soon!

Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse said...

That's awesome! Congrats on making it big-time :)

JustJmee said...

Omg...can totally relate on the migraines! Mine started in december, after 18days straight, YES 18! An urgent care visit, an ER visit and 2 doc appts my doc begged a neurologist to see me. I was put on a prednisone wean, that broke the headache cycle of hell! Definately try a neurologist and chiropractor...altho neuro docs usually take several mths to get into.. I just found a new one that I just love, Tina Blintz at UH Ahuja in beachwood...Worth the drive! Good luck!

Katherines Corner said...

1st-migraines suck! Hoping you don't have anymore anytime soon.

2nd how awesome are you! That is fantastic! How wonderful to have your blog featured in a magazine. Well done, I bow to your awesomeness.

3rd, Happy I found you, I'm your newest stalker, ummm I mean follower :-)

Amanda Lynn said...

I just started blogging and I think I want to be like you when I grow up. Love it (and I'm a Scott Disick fan too). As for the migraine I went to a neurologist did the million dollar workup and her recommendation-wine every day. No joke--totally worked.

Lacey Jane said...

Hey. Hey you with the migraines. Go get adjusted!! Find an awesome chiropractor and make good use of her. Or him. You will be amazed at the power of the Chiro!

Jessica said...

Congratulations, how exciting! Cute comment about the Kardashians. :-) I've got to admit, Scott has grown on me too as he's morphed from a crazy drunk stuffing money in the face of waiters to a loving father of two.

Lorrie said...

Congrats on your blog turning 5!! And btw, Scott Disick (sp?) is also my favorite on KUWTK.

ALin said...

I'm also quite fond of Scott Disick. He's the most normal person in that family!

Congrats on the magazine shout-out, too cool!

Danikka Christopher said...

I've been telling my friend about this disease she has now. She's not eating and she said that it's a part of her diet rituals. It is obviously not right but still she's still doing it. Good thing urgent care englewood was there when she had an attacked. If they were late, I'm pretty sure gone now.