And I know that all kids do this and all parents tell the stories like they are the most original and hilarious stories ever and then you pretend to belly laugh but really you're thinking about what to eat for lunch or maybe you are wondering if anyone is looking because you have a wedgie to pick. I know.
BUT MAH BAYBEE IS ORIGINAL AND HILARIOUS! And at least when it is a blog you can just click away and avoid the awkward social interaction. The Internet is fantastic that way. So is texting.
So Olivia has been saying all kinds of stuff that makes me laugh and it is so inconvenient because my c-section incision still hurts like a bitch when I laugh. The other day there was a fly in the house and Olivia was going on and on about beating off the fly.
"How about you beat off that fly, Jen*? How about, when daddy gets home, he beats off that fly? Maybe Milo** can beat off that fly?"
Olivia got a princess blanket for Christmas, and when she saw Mark all wrapped up in it she yelled, "DADDY IS A BIG QUEEN!"
Yes he is.
She likes to pretend that there are all kinds of perils around her swing set - sharks, monsters, and most recently hot lava. Or, hot lavas. Which sounds like hot lovahs. As in, "Ack! Watch out for those hot lovahs!"
I'm easily amused, is the point. And I should probably try to get out more because I am clearly talking to toddlers too much.
*She calls us Jen and Mark when she feels like something is very important. Like beating off flies.
**Milo, our dog, is the member of our household most likely to beat off a fly. This opinion is based on his history of giving blow jobs to our other dog, Baxter. So much dog porn at our house.