Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Feeling the FET Funk

Oh, hai. I’m all smack dab in the middle of my Frozen Embryo Transfer Protocol. Blogging about the process would have been lovely, had I not felt like death for the past two weeks.

I’m so far behind, I don’t even know where to start.

First of all, this whole FET/Second Child thing? It’s a lot different than before. Since I’m sure someone out there is furiously Googling “Cleveland Clinic FET Protocol” I will happily oblige. I’ve also promised at least 5 people via email that I would post my protocol.

Cycle Day 1-13: 3 Estrogen pills/day (continue until 12 weeks pregnant)
Cycle Day 13: Lining Check (ultrasound)

Taken at my lining check appointment:
4 of the 37 copies available in the waiting room.
Conceive Magazine at your Fertility Center:
Look at this cute toddler that you may or may not have
based on the outcome of your appointment!

Cycle Day 15: Start PIO (continue until 12 weeks if pregnant), Medrol, Tetracycline, Continue Estrogen
Cycle Day 20: Transfer
2 Weeks Later: Beta

Since I had a very painful transfer for IVF #1, I decided on Valium for IVF #2 transfer. And I will be enjoying Valium for FET #1, because hey. It’s tradition.

The problem with the FET so far has been these fucking estrogen pills. They make me so sick. I haven’t been able to work out at all since I started taking them.

Perhaps I should be eating more hamburgers?

Wait! That’s a lie! I did brave a run during the first week. And I was running running running la de freaking da and at exactly 20 minutes? I was dry heaving dry heaving dry heaving on the side of the road. La de freaking da.

On Saturday, I couldn’t get out of the car after I want to the grocery store because I felt so sick after walking around. So I just sat there, looking at Mark in the driveway.

Mark: What’s wrong?

Me: Oh, just feeling sorry for myself, no biggie.

And I was.  I haven't been feeling much of the Woe, This Won't Work.  But I have been feeling copious amounts of Woe, This is Bullshit And I Don't Feel Like I Should Have To Do It, with a side dish of Natural Pregnancy Is Unfair You Lucky Bitches.

So while there haven’t been any MURDEROUS RAGE type situations like with my fresh IVF/Lupron, there have been lots of, “Just to warn you I might vomit right now” type of situations.

And to be totally honest with you, I find that to be complete bullshit. It was so much more convenient for me when I felt fine but wanted to kill people. Now I’m all nice except I feel like shit.  Bitchiness is so much easier on the stomach.

But anyway. My transfer is tomorrow.  My two embryos are developing well.  Am hoping for limited humiliation at my appointment but am skeptical for obvious reasons.

This post is totally boring. Sorry. That’s the other thing about bitchiness: BETTER BLOGS! The good news is that I’ll be showing my vagina to a lot of people tomorrow and so there is usually something ridiculous to report.  Could I interest you in a cute baybee picture?

She steals Cheerios from the cupboard and hides in the corner
while shoving fist fulls into her mouth like some sort of deranged yet adorable
emotional eater.


One Year Ago: This Post is Brought To You By: Obligation
Two Years Ago: I'm Embryoated


Emily said...

That Olivia is too funny - my son steals food from the pantry too! His favorite is Nilla wafers, but he hasn't figured out how to open the box and hide yet. That will come soon though, Im sure.

Crazy Sister said...

That is an adorable picture!

Enjoy the Valium.

Aimee said...

I wish you loads of luck with the transfer! I found out yesterday that my IUI for #2 was a bust. I was telling a friend that I'm totally capable of dealing with this result. Its the positive result that I doubt until baby is born. Now trying to find roughly 13k for IVF, won't be easy since I'm not working. I'm open to suggestions if you have any. Sigh...

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

Good luck!! you are such a trooper and Olivia is so cute. That picture is funny!

andrea said...

Olivia cracks me up!

good luck tomorroww!!!!

areyoukiddingme said...

Vomiting is not fair under any circumstances. For this, it's like adding insult to injury.

Hope all goes well, with minimum humiliation tomorrow.

Olivia is too funny!

lis said...

@ aimee-good luck! Maybe consider uprooting and moving to a mandated state such as mass or nj? Yea, I know its a longshot but if you got the right job you would be promised 4 IVF and as many FET as you could. All on the house. @jennepper GL on the FET. I just found out yesterday that my fuckin second IVF didn't work-so its on to FET for us too. Thanks for posting your protocol as mine hasn't arrived yet and I've been wondering what the sched is like. I'm hoping all that sickness was worth it and you have another beautiful baybee in your arms this time next year...enjoy the valium-i find I am much happier to show a room full of peeps my vag after a pill. I always ask for two. They always say no. :( ill be thinking of you tomorrow.

Jaci said...

Eating behind the couch is brilliant, Olivia! So much better than furiously unwrapping peanut butter cups in the kitchen and having your husband catch you and give you that "WTF?" look.

Your pills encourage hamburgers, while mine says "take with a small snack": AKA an entire loaf of bread.

Courtney said...

Good luck tomorrow. How many embryos are you going to stick in the "Jen" oven (if you don't mind my asking)?

amy =) said...

just had to tell you that i <3 your blog, i always have, but i really needed this today. went for a consult with an RE today (who was out because his wife is gravely ill, so we saw his NP) and were told that we need to do IVF, which is totally not what i wanted to hear. and then after a meeting a church, a friend of mine who has been going through IUIs with me (at the same dr) tells me she is pregnant, naturally. so after a nice (not) cry session, this was great to read. hope things go well tomorrow.

i hate my life

Jamie said...

I'm having my fresh transfer tomorrow too! Good luck :-)

Aimee said...

Moving to a mandated state might be cheaper in the long run!!! The whole thing turns me into a pathetic mess. I love having jenn's blog to put it in perspective!

stephanie said...

Been thinking about you (hi, stalker) and WONDERING when the transfer was. Am about to get back in the stirrups again myself (no frosties, so a fresh cycle for us. which, yay.) and I'm already feeling the side dish of GODDAMNIT IT, WHY can't we do this the FUN, EASY WAY!?

Side note: Olivia is too freakin adorable. I love that she hides to binge eat the Cheerios. LOVE.

For the Long Haul said...

I loved reading your post (as usual) and glanced down to the "One year ago," and "Two years ago" at the bottom of your post. The one from two years ago was titled "I'm Embryoated" so I clicked to read through. Ironic that exactly two years ago you were going through the same thing. And even more ironic? Your transfer lady, "Olga" I think, was talking about the Sex and the City Movie that just came out.

Must be a sign, right?

Good luck to you!

Erin said...

Thanks for the update and sorry you are feeling so shitty. Maybe Olivia can spare you some Cheerios? Or not... because sharing kind of sucks. But really, please take care of yourself and eat something. We need you to have energy for blogging.
Hope you and The Vag have a good transfer tomorrow!

lparsons15 said...

OHH good luck with your FET!! Lots of good thoughts for your transfer tomorrow. Sorry you are feeling so crappy, I imagine its impossible to take care of a child when you are pukey..Feel better!

Kahla said...

Good luck tomorrow. We have two frozens, no clue when we'll give 'em a try, but boy does this make me want to do it like yesterday! ;o) Sounds joyful... really it does.

Good luck tomorrow, may your queasiness soon be for a totally different reason.

Olivia is adorable, I like to hide in the corner and eat too (but mainly so I don't have to share with the kids).

Heather said...

Love that picture. Lots and lots of luck on the FET.

Alyssa said...

Good luck!
Remember to shave your legs and to wear pants so that when you have to take your underwear off, you have someplace to hide them.
(By the way, I have a complete underwear phobia as well. And don't you dare refer to them as the "p-word" or I will fo' realz have to choke a bitch).

Shanny said...

Heee hee Love the pic, Olivia is just too cute!
Good luck with the transfer!!! And I know you feel like shit but I'm very excited for you!

Mrs. Higrens said...

Thinking about you this AM driving into work and your prior experiences with Teensy McShortArms.

Fingers crossed that the easy bake oven works once again and the feeling like crap continues. Only in IF can feeling like crap be a good thing. This stuff is so f'ed up!

Mama Tully said...

That picture is histerical! Good luck at your apt tomorrow :)

Deanna said...

If the bottle says eat a hamburger, then who are we to argue? So sorry that you're having to go through this again. And I hope that things go good with this and you can blog about pregnancy symptoms over the next nine months.

Olivia and I would get along great - I hide in the pantry and binge eat on cereal, too. Of course, I'm hiding from my toddler when I do that...and then get the "WTF?" look from Hubs that Jaci was talking about. What? I don't want to share!!

ks said...

OMG!!! Good Luck today!! I was wondering when your FET was! I hope it's a smooth and easy transfer. May the valium work it's magic! All my very best to you!


EB said...

I HATE estrogen! I once had an overdose of estrogen & it made me throw up- while I was driving! And I didn't have anywhere to throw up so I had to keep it! And then I had to throw up AGAIN but there was nowhere for it to go- because, hello? Throw up in the mouth! So, I had to pull over on the shoulder of the interstate. And there I was, throwing up on the interstate and my car started to roll.away. True Story. And that's why I hate estrogen. The End. Oh yeah, and it makes you fat. The End.

Good luck with your transfer! And Olivia is so stinkin cute it should be illegal.

uncomplicateme said...

Luck, luck, luck today! Hoping everything goes perfectly today! xo

PJ said...

That's a LOT of estrogen pills! They made me feel all overheated.

I want a hamburger, dammit! With a bun! Gestational diabetes sucks! I'm having someone get me a HUGE slice of grasshopper pie as soon as I give birth.

Best if luck Jen! :)

Anonymous said...

I know nothing about anything you wrote, but it sounds horrible and I hope it all works out for ya! I mean come on, all that sickness n' shit has to be worth something in the end! :)

Carol said...

I like the sneaky baby Cheerio picture. She's a funny girl! Good luck with your transfer. Hormones are hell hell hell on ones brain, artificially introduced or not. I am currently pregnant and I wanted to kill everyone and kill myself all at the same time between weeks 5 and 18 but I didn't have the energy to go find a decent weapon. : ) May your embryos be rockin awesome for you!

Rebecca said...

I totally read over the word baby on that last line and since there wasn't much of a segue between "Showing my vagina to a lot of people tomorrow....." and "Can I interest you in a cute photo"

I was thinking you were thinking of putting up your vagina on your blog.......I gotta be honest, it kinda scared me.

Crossed Fingers said...

hahaha - love the caption under her picture - so cute.

Good luck with the transfer and hopefully it's a one time deal and you'll be reporting your BFP soon!

Aunt Becky said...

Sometimes I want to hide in a corner with Cheerios, too. Especially when on a low carb diet when I'm all 'CAARRRBBS' the same way zombies are about brains.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen!
First: Sorry you're feeling crappy. Don't regret the self-pity! You're entitled.
Second: You're my favorite blogger. And you're the only blogger I've said this to. Really!
Third: For you scaredy-cat comment readers (such as myself) - I think Jen's experience is unusual. I took 9MG of estrace a day - plus an estrogen patch! - without a problem.
Fourth: Jen - Good luck!


rebecca said...

Such a freaking adorable picture! Thinking of you tomorrow & hoping your transfer goes smoothly with wonderful results:)

Anonymous said...

Love. Your. Blog.

I'm going through the same thing...your blog was so inspiring during my IVF #1 and resulting pregnancy and (to quote you) my preshus. I'm having my one last embryo transferred 6/15.

Best wishes for you and your family. You are very blessed to have two to place. It's in the bag. :)

brunettebeachgirl said...

Jen, I'm currently in the 2ww so I very much understand the shitty-ness of the process. Wishing you lots of luck on your ET from your FET, and maybe you can EAT some MEAT (and not throw up)... : ) okay I don't know where that came from, but I'm blaming it on the (hopefully) tiny little embaby currently snuggling in my uterus.

Oh, really long comment short, good luck and Olivia is adorable!

KristenWiley said...

Sorry, I'm a bit behind. Good Luck with everything. I will be thinking of you! :)

Milla said...

Dear Jen, you are brilliant and we all love you and Olivia, who looks delicious as usual. I can't believe you even attempted a run, I would be adopting a near-death pose on a sofa/bed when possible. Don't worry about the woe, it could easily tip over into rage at any moment. Sending all the good stuff possible. x

Anonymous said...

Amen sister, Conceive magazine is bullshit. It's like filling the waiting room at a Weight Watchers clinic with Food and Wine magazine.

Maddy said...

Hey Jen. It looks like our lives are on parallel paths (although I'm not nearly as funny as you are). My son is almost 15 months old and I've just started my FET protocol (on day 2 now). I have my fingers crossed for you!! Question - did you do assisted hatching? We did it for our IVF because 2 years ago our fertility clinic always did it with ICSI. But now my RE is telling me that it's not necessary and we opted not to do it to avoid increasing our chances of having multiples. I'd appreciate your thoughts!

Dani Z said...

I had to go through infertility treatments as well to have my son. Loved the bitchiness that came with the hormones, not sure my hubs would agree. Having to go through it all again has definitely made me think twice about have another bundle of joy. Especially since he is in the tantrum stage, not sure I can handle 2 screaming children.

Best of luck.