Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Question to which you no longer need an answer.

Fanpage Friday would be a great idea.  If I could get my shit collected enough to actually follow through.  Which I cannot, obviously. 

If you'd like to suggest blog topics for me to use in a very untimely manner at my own delayed discretion, you can become a Facebook fan by clicking here.

Suggested by Kim: First Birthday Party Ideas

Let me get back to you about that!  I'll be throwing a tiny first birthday party in a few weeks.
OH MAH GAH, MAH BAYBEE IS ONE.  My vagina and I can hardly believe it has been an entire year since she was born.

Suggested by Kristin: "Why a select few should be allowed to have grenade launchers on our cars."

I'm into this idea, but only if I am involved in choosing who gets said grenade launchers.  And, if I have a car that is grenade-proof.  Not sure how to get this done - write my Congressman, maybe?  I also think there needs to be some free pass for launching grenades a giant ass-wrangling SUVs.

Suggested by Laura: people who mix uPpErCaSe & LoWeRcAsE letters when they write/type.  i sooooo do not heart that.

Hmmm...yes, this is infuriating.  Even just reading what you wrote made me want to kick something tiny and harmless.  Also infuriating?  A little design around whatever they write/type.  For example:

**~~**:::::**I aM a ToTaL dOuChE**:::::**~~**

Suggested by Sara: What about when you give people who are letting their children play with/ruin/destroy your stuff laugh and tell you "Oh, you'll understand when you have your own children." What?! I'm pretty sure I still won't let my own kid ruin my $4000 TV, so get your slimy kid's hands cleaned and off of my stuff!


* ahem *

Wait. What?  Nobody I know does that.  But, you know, let's just say that they did.  For the sake of argument.  And by argument I mean this blog.  Purely fictional. 


Olivia started walking.  Like, really walking.  She has been taking steps for a few weeks, but she actually walks now and it is wobbly and totally cute.  She is totally amused with herself while she does it.  I'm working on getting it on video - I've only managed to catch a few steps.  Here's a picture of her, making a ridiculous face:

God, Mom, do you think you could change my soaking wet shirt? 
Yes, I can walk, but I'm still not tall enough to reach the clothes in my closet. 
You freaking lazy whore.

I wish I had something to say, but I'm tired and busy and blah blah blah.  Aren't we all tired and busy?  Perhaps I will be more amusing in the future.  Probably not, but it's nice to dream big.


Anonymous said...

oh how i heart you.
i'm famous!

Michelle said...

Your photo caption made me laugh out loud. Thanks, I needed that!

areyoukiddingme said...

No, not grenade launchers...cell phone numbers on the license plate, so you can call people and tell them how to drive better. Because grenade launchers will only create more obstacles and slow me down.

Olivia has some adorable expressions!

kimbosue said...

Thanks for the 1st birthday party ideas....NOT.

The photo caption made me spit my Cinnamon Toast Crunch on my monitor. Thanks Bia.


Crossed Fingers said...

hahahaha - thanks for the much needed laugh. Love the comment about the TV and understanding when you have your own kids. Oh and Oliva's picture the caption is priceless!

LaurenKauf said...

HAHAHAHAHA The I aM a ToTaL DoUcHe example made me laugh so hard I snorted!!! I HATE THAT!!, Like, who feels like it???

Shanny said...

Yay for Olivia walking right before her 1st year's birthday =)
Oh, and when you write your Congressman about the grenade-proof car can you please let him know I want in? Thanks!

Parsing Nonsense said...

Congrats on the walking! Can't wait to see pictures from Olivia's birthday party!

A New Beginning said...

Even when you think you are at your worst, I think you are hilarious!

andrea said...

go olivia! it's (almost) your birhtday!
scratch that off the list of accomplishments :)