Friday, December 4, 2009

Let me toss your Google salad.

How about a fun list of Google keywords that lead people to my blog?

Category: Vagina Topics
Needle up your twat IVF
Look at my vagina
blowing out candles with vagina

Category: All about Asses
mercy butt cream
best prescription medicine raw chapped butt
best thing for chapped ass
my ass hurts and i'm real mad

Category: The Duggars (WTF, I've mentioned them like 3 times in 2 years?!)
The duggars
I hate the Duggars
The Duggars are gross
Hate the Duggars
Duggars Disgusting
Duggar broken vagina
Are the duggars disgusting?

Category: Guesses at my full name.
Jen Epper
Jennifer Epper
Jenn Epper
Jen E. Per
Jenny Per

Category: Hairy Hairy Hairy
Big Hairy Legs
Hairy Legs
Hairy Underwear
Hairy Go Peeing
Hairy Relax
hairy clown underwear scary

Category: The Beetus
bitch don't know 'bout my diabeetus
diabeetus cat is not happy about this one bit
wilford brimley stupid


HereWeGoAJen said...

I think I like the guesses at your full name the best. My "official" email address is JenELastName and people who guess wrong refer to me as Jene.

Crazy Sister said...

Wilford Brimley Stupid?


Someone once got to my blog by googling "Dirty Kids".

Nic said...

Ha ha! I like the one about blowing out candles!

KandiB said...

I'd be mad if my ass hurt real bad, too. I hope they found relief in your blog, because your blog is like, butt cream - so cool and refreshing.

'Murgdan' said...

Is it not absolutely amazing the things people search for....

...bitch don't know 'bout my diabeetus...and that poor diabeetus cat.


renee said...

ok, gotta say my fave is "Jenn E. Per" lmao. I feel like it should say "Jenn E. Puurrr" and the person saying it should be old and pale and have a creepy serial killer vibe. lmao.
oh and prolly "the duggars" b/c your last guest blogger mentioned them.

J & A said...

HA!! I kind of just want to ignore the whole "hairy" category - yikes!! ;-) I get real mad when my ass hurts too, so I totally get that one.

Shandal said...

That is why I love your blog! You humorously cover all the dirty stuff that no one ever talks about! Love it!

Courtney said...

How do you figure out what people have searched for your blog under? i'm facinated!

roztime said...

"my ass hurts and i'm real mad"
YES. awesome. !!

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Ahh! I thought I had a monopoly on hairy porn searches: obviously not!

PJ said...

hahaaaaaaa... My ass hurts and I'm real mad!!! I'm thinking maybe that was from when you were on the PIO?

Stace said...

Way too funny!

Jaci said...

Before the Great Deletion, most of my hits came from people googling "It's shake n bake and I helped."

At least 10-15 people a day found my blog through Shake-N-Bake. I'm thinking of writing ridiculous phrases in white text at the bottom of my posts and just see what hits come out of it. :)

mo*reezy said...

Once I had a search of "looking for valentine noco noco mickey" bring someone to my blog.
Yeah. I don't know either.

Kimbosue said...

Looks like all you ever talk about is The Duggars' Hairy Vagina Asses with the 'Beetus!! ROFLMAO!!!!

The Daily Betty said...

These are hilarious! I happen to remember how I found your blog--I searched for "anterior placenta." My ultrasound tech told me I had one and I thought it sounded like something very very bad. It turns out it is just one of those things. But I'm glad I found your blog because 1) you are funny and I enjoy your posts even though you're a total stranger and 2) Olivia is only a few months older than my daughter, and it's been really helpful knowing what to expect.

How DO you find out what google hits lead to one's own blog? I'd really like to know!

Jen said...

Google Analytics! You can see all sorts of information about your blog.

Plus, its Google, which makes me love it by default.

Anonymous said...

I hope you feel like a real ass now...talking about the Duggars broken Vagina is like talking about your broken fu*king baby maker. You should think before you open your mouth at times!!

Jen said...

Nope, don't feel like an ass. At all.
Sorry to crush your little hopes. Go hate on someone else.

Anonymous said...

I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?