Monday, December 28, 2009

Aw Naw! Itz Godzeela!

I may have mentioned that the only thing Olivia got for Christmas from her parents was blocks. And I'm serious.

All the other presents under the tree were things she already had that I wrapped up for show. They are all the clothes that I couldn't resist at Baby Gap in sizes too large for her malnourished tiny body.

Technically, we bought her a ton of "Christmas" presents the few months leading up to the holiday. And we gave them to her, because SQUEE SHE WILL LOVE IT SQUEE!

And by we, I mean me.

But anyway. For Christmas Proper, we got her Peekablocks and Mega Bloks. She likes them both about as much as a 10 month old actually likes anything - in 10 second intervals. Unless we're talking about the dog bowl, the dog's balls, or the garbage can - then she is unable to keep her hands away and will scream like you ripped the head off her doll and peed into its stuffing when you try to redirect.

Mark and I? Have found true love. NOT with eachother, but how nice would that be? No...we are totally hot for these Mega Bloks.

I started playing with these blocks with Olivia because I am a stellar parent who is always teaching through play and you can never start too young even at 10 months I mean it's only 17 short years before we start filling out college applications.


I started playing with these blocks to distract Olivia from the dog bowl, the dog's balls, and the garbage can. And then? OMG and then? I became unstoppable. I started creating the most impressively elaborate yet structurally sound buildings ever created by anyone with Mega Bloks, ever.

Well, sort of. Until Godzeela Baybee.

RAWR!  AM Gozeela Baybee!  Will paralyze you with Mah Cute and then destroy your structure!  With my frying pan, or with my fists, whatever I want to do! RAWR!

Godzeela Baybee started to walk this weekend.  A little.  Like, 3 or 4 steps before she falls on her teeny tiny Pampers-padded ass.  But just enough to come and cause death and destruction in my elaborate yet structurally sound(ish) Mega Blok galaxy. 

I wish I could just get a video of this, but I simply cannot.  Her desire to eat our camera dramatically outweighs my ability to keep her from eating our camera. 

She starts across the room.  Looks at my elaborate yet structurally sound creation.  SMILES.  SQUEALS.  And hauls ass across the room to bust shit up.  She even giggles while she does it.  She rips the buildings apart and throws the pieces.  I'm not even kidding.  To add to her Godzeela-like behavior, she spent the entire weekend saying done.

DUN!  DUN!  DADADADADADADUN! No, seriously your structure is full of the DUN!

And Mark, sitting on the couch watching Sports Center documentaries, is all:  Give it a rest with the blocks, wife!  Plus, your building doesn't even have a door OMG but whatever because I am so above blocks!  Ur so lame, want divorce, kthxbai. 

(And I was all, whatever, I get the baybee and the bloks so ha and in your face and Maturity, infinity no reversies.)

Last night, I came downstairs after putting Olivia to bed, and found this Amazing Structure proudly displayed on the toybox/ottoman in the livingroom:

I had to post both pictures so that you can appreciate the lengths to which my Dear Husband went to...what?  Outdo my awesome Mega Blok-ing?  I mean, just minutes before he was calling me lame. Now?  Now he's all Bloky McBlokerson, ya know?  Building structures with windows and balconies and an awning over the front door.  What.the.hell? 

And you know that I sat it right in front of Olivia this morning and took great pleasure as she went Godzeela on its ass.


TotalBliss said...

Just find your blog... lmao!!Halarity at its finest.


Strawberry said...

You are without a doubt, one talented family.

(and go Olivia on the walking!)

HereWeGoAJen said...

We had to buy a new garbage can that was baby proof-er (it's not totally, but it is better) because Elizabeth kept throwing things away. And now I keep the dogs' water bowl on the back porch, so they have to go outside to drink. But our dogs do not have balls. At least not that kind.

Happy Walking, Olivia!

I'll need to see one of your block structures to see who wins.

Mrs B @ lifewithsweetcheeks said...

I think I need to invest in some blocks.

(For my son... So he can learn. & stuff.)

Love the blog. Love.

You might be my new obsession.

Amy G said...

Wow! Your blog is fantastic. You are extremely funny.

I didn't get my 3 month old daughter anything for Hanukkah this year. But next year I'm totally wrapping up eight items that we already own and giving them to her as presents. Genius.

The Red Headed Mama said...

Oh, we've done the exact same thing numerous times. And let me tell ya, at almost 7 Aiden is still building...but now Ian gets to destroy his stuff. It's a cruel yet funny payback.

Sarah said...

I just want you to know, my husband saw the picture of Olivia, and this is how our conversation went

Me: Is that not the cutest baybee evar?!

Husband: Oh, that is a reeeally cute baby. Whos is she?

Me: Why thats Jenneppers baybee!

Husband: Is she for sale?

Me: Sadly, no.

Husband: Did you even make an offer??

So there you have husband would like to make an offer on that deliciously perfect baybee of yours? Good yes?

I kid of course. But only a little. ;)

Babe_chilla said...

You never cease to make me laugh. I laughed so much when I first found your blog, you're the first and only other blogger I've ever posted about.

And boys are dumb. They heart blocks, no matter what they say!

Two Moms, Two Monkeys said...

"Blocky McBlockerson" that is great! I am sitting here busting up!

areyoukiddingme said...

Save your money for therapy...I'm not sure which one of you is going to need it first, though.

Heather said...

Excellent work with the blocks, but my goodness she has the most gorgeous eyes! And that smile!!! Enjoy!

Mandy and Jack said...

Bahaha. I love your tiny hairless baybee.

Porthos said...

Men...they mock us, but they must out-do us every time. Hahahahahaha! Love it :)

Paige said...

Why is it these kids want stuff like the dog's balls so bad? My sweet natured cutie will pitch a hissy fit if I won't let her have my cell phone but takes only a passing interest in the Mega Blocks she got for Christmas! Olivia is as cute as ever and congrats (?) on having a walker!

Nicole said...

lol.. your blog is priceless! Go Olivia for the walking, and too funny about your husband out-bloking you with awnings and balconies. ;)

PJ said...


Mr. PJ has already talked about how excited he is to have babies because he wants to play Legos with them. hehe!

Kahla said...

Ha, you ate hilarious! Those things are addictive, although our 4 year old informed me that they are baby blocks. Not sure if he was hinting he wants new blocks or if he was calling me a baby.

Courtney said...

LMAO! Hilarious! I love how you snuck in there that she plays with the dog balls. HA!

Superstar said...

Boys are stupid. You should know this by now. They're all manly until you leave the room and then they just can't resist.

Just wait until Her Cuteness is 12 months old or better and you are ready to chuck the blocks out the door. Fun game? Pick up all the blocks and then little people come and dump them out all over again. This keeps little people (and mom) occupied for a looooong time.

Allison said...

Uh, since you started the building, you get to label anything he does as "Inspired by Jen."

So really, you still win.

BugginWord said...

Um, the family that blocks together? You're going to launch BlockHer now aren't you?

*~*Lis*~* said...

You are seriously funny!

My obsession was the little people sets - we've got them all. The hubs and I had a bet that we couldn't set them all up (correctly) before the kid went all Godzilla on us - I did it once while he was at work and the kid was sleeping. Then sent him pictures and told him the bet never said the kid had to be awake.

Now which dog balls are you talking about??

Dana said...

Did you take that pic of Olivia? It's a really good one!!! Getting to know your camera, eh??? ;)

Tiff said...

We totally have those blocks too. And I totally whine when Mason knocks down my masterpieces. Good thing he doesn't like Barbies.

The H's said...

i would encourage anyone looking for these blocks to hit garage sales, and thrift shops. Before the boy was born we went and hit as many garage sales as could and scooped up all the blocks for very little. We cleaned them when we got home and lost count after 1100 (the boy has tons waiting for him in the basement...we'll do the same Christmas trick for the next few years wrapping these blocks). And yes, no sooner do i get my extreme structure up and he comes crashing through it.....oh well...

Kelly said...

You are frickin' HILARIOUS. Thanks for the fine entertainment!