Saturday, March 14, 2009

Month One: I think someone stole my baby!

And replaced her with a much larger, more alert baby! Or: replaced her with the white baby R. Kelly!

This month has been nothing like I imagined. And don't ask me what I imagined - I had no concept of what a newborn was like, and I had no idea how to care for a newborn.

I am now somewhat schooled on newborn care, but am still surprised that I managed to bring home a 5 pound bag of sugar, keep her alive, and not eat her delicious little feet in one loud NOM.

Being that I had never changed a diaper prior to February 14, 2009, I think I am doing an acceptable job. I've had a lot of practice, since Olivia (R. Kellyepper?) insists on peeing on me at 90% of her diaper changes. Diaper time goes as follows:

-Poopy diaper.
-Fresh Diaper
-Desitin glob on finger.
-Olivia Pees.
-Wipe off Desitin glob.
-Fresh Diaper part deux.

And for extra fun? There have been three times where I went through 4 or 5 diapers at once because just when you think there couldn't be another squirt of poop? THERE TOTALLY IS! MULTIPLE SQUIRTS! AND MAYBE MORE PEE BECAUSE WHY NOT, YOU KNOW?!

I'm sure all babies do their fair share of farting, but I am especially proud of the force with which Olivia can pass gas. Sometimes I have to look at her diaper to see if she burned a hole in it.

Olivia is a sweetheart. Really, she is. She is such a good baby, usually only crying when she is hungry or needs a new diaper. She sleeps pretty well too, which I hesitate to say since the last couple of nights have been particularly challenging. But hopefully it will pass and she will be willing to sleep on her back somewhere other than mommy or daddy's arms. (Please, Olivia? Kthxbye.)

But while I am on the topic, what the hell is the deal with the noisy newborn sleep?! She has started this whole grunting song and dance that lasts all night long. And while I swear she must be awake and pushing out the largest adult turd ever developed, she is sound asleep.

Have we had shitty days where she fusses all day? Yes, yes we have. Olivia and I went to meet her first little friend, Genevieve, who was born a week and a half after Olivia. And wouldn't you know that Olivia either crapped herself or cried for a bottle the entire time we were there. And then we left and she slept for like 7 hours.

You win some, you lose some, right?

The hardest part that I didn't anticipate was the lack of sleep. With Mark working, I am on night shift all the time, and ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY shift, too, during the week. I have been completely unable to nap when it is light out because I feel like I need to do so many things - then I start so many things that don't get finished. I actually sat down this week and tried to remember the last time I actually brushed my teeth, and from the bumpy feel of a tongue swipe, I would guess that it had been at least 8 years.

I'm feeling pretty good, although I'll admit that I wonder if I have postpartum depression - mostly on the nights when I've gotten 2 hours of sleep and can't stop crying when she cries. But then there are 3 or 4 good days in a row, and I feel fine. So that will be something to bring up at my 6 week appointment, I guess.

Today, we went out to eat with the baby for the first time. I was so so worried. It went fine - we went to the Olive Garden with Mark's parents, and Olivia enjoyed 3 ounces of the finest Similac with a dash of Gripe Water (for said grunting) and Mylicon (for said old man farting).

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

A month of our daughter's life has happened. It feels like we just brought her home! We started out with the tiniest, sleepiest jaundice baby in America. But now there's the wide eyes, the newborn clothes that gulped her up at first now fit adorably, the loose routine that we've developed. We survived diaper rash and a growth spurt that had us making bottles every hour to feed our hungry hungry hippo. We gave our girl her first bath and she loved it. We went shopping, visited family and friends, and ate at a restaurant.

It makes me sad that a month can pass this fast, and I'm trying to stop anticipating the milestones and just enjoy the now. I think that this parenting thing is hard, yet I love Olivia to distraction and the exhaustion is worth it. We waited so long for this baby - THIS baby, OUR baby - and it is unbelievable how everything is different and yet it is still all OK.


Kris said...

She is so gorgeous!

Sounds like she is doing great! I remember those sleeping noises with my first daughter, always grunting and snorting...but then it passes and you miss it.

Rebecca said...

The first three months are undeniably hard but I really felt like it started started to lift at 3 months and I could finally breath again. Each stage is difficult in it's own sense but it's also easier in other ways. Soon I'll be doing it again but with two this time! Eek!

Seriously? - Erin said...

Oh I totally feel you. C works nights so I am on day and night duty all the time. I also don't sleep because I am busy trying to keep up with the laundry and the cleaning, etc.

I have only been home from the hospital for a few days but Colin so far only sleeps on my chest - hates the bassinet and crib (at night, during the day he will sleep there...)

You do give me hope though!!

uncomplicateme said...

She is so, so completely delicious! B just gave me one loud sigh in agreement as he's sleeping on me in front of the laptop. I can't believe how fast this goes, but I'm really trying to enjoy and remember every day like you said. You're doing great though, she is so totally NOM-able, I don't blame you for wanting to chomp on her toes daily!

areyoukiddingme said...

When my daughter was an infant, she would poop, and as I would be changing her diaper, she would pee on me (which I didn't think it was possible for little girls to do) and then she would projectile poop. She sprayed me, the chair, the desk/changing table, and the walls. It was very impressive. I don't know what was up with her intestines, but she was determined to push stuff out. So determined that there was at least one daily blowout.

Take your naps. The important stuff will get done. The stuff that doesn't get done isn't that important.

Christina said...

She's so cute...I especially love the week two picture.

BTW, I think it's likely normal to cry a few times when you're working on little to no sleep and the little precious won't stop crying. It's stress relief.

It sounds like you're a great mommy!

Denise said...

It is unbelievable how quickly they change, isn't it? She's just gorgeous.

Beautiful Mess said...

She is so cute! The last picture is my favorite!

Bekah said...

Omg, woman, everyone says to sleep when the baby sleeps for a reason. You know, so you can get some friggin' sleep! I do totally understand the need to do something, but seriously, if you are going to do something while she's sleeping, make it tooth brushing, showering, or sleeping. Think about this when you're up at 3 am begging Olivia to go to sleep because you feel like you're just not going to make it. Will you be happy that you did the dishes/laundry/made the bed/whatever else you might have done instead of closing your eyes for those few blessed drops of sleep? Just sayin', yo.

Also, Olivia's a dang cutie!

Lorrie said...

Could your baby get any cuter????

And your R. Kelly comments cracked me up!!

Julia said...

What a wonderful time. Glad to hear you still have your head. Just try not to let you teeth rot out it.

She really is a cutie!

Amy said...

Glad to hear everything is going well...Olivia is precious!

iambrowneyedgirl said...

Your daughter is so beautiful! I'm so glad that things are going well.

Mary said...

Oh, honey. If you are ever up at 4 a.m. and need someone other than a baby to cry with, call me. Our Stella is now 12 days old and I know exactly what you mean -- when it's good, it's very very good, and when it's bad it's horrid. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job (a restaurant! we haven't yet dared), and I bet Olivia is very happy, even if she can't quite tell you that yet.

Impulsive Addict said...

You are a funny girl and I think I like you!

I don't have my baby yet but we've been trying for almost 30 years.'s more like 5 years and we've done all the fun stuff (clomid, IUI x's 2, IVF x's 2 if you count the frozen cycle) but we're trying again very soon right after my laparoscopy next week. Not quite sure why I felt the need to tell you random info but that's just how I roll, ok?

Good post!!

Impulsive Addict said...

You are a funny girl and I think I like you!

I don't have my baby yet but we've been trying for almost 30 years.'s more like 5 years and we've done all the fun stuff (clomid, IUI x's 2, IVF x's 2 if you count the frozen cycle) but we're trying again very soon right after my laparoscopy next week. Not quite sure why I felt the need to tell you random info but that's just how I roll, ok?

Good post!!

Chicago Mom said...

Like Rebecca said, the first 3 months you're in survival mode. The sheer exhaustion and lack of sleep is torture (they use sleep deprivation in the military). So take it easy on yourself and let the housework slide. It will still be there when you get around to it.

Someday Olivia will be sleeping 10-12 hours through the night and you will look back fondly on the all nighters. Trust me when I say this. I know it's hard to believe right now!

liina said...

You shouldn't be on night duty by yourself. You're bottle feeding so get that husband out of bed once or twice a night! :)

alicia said...

the things I have to look forward too! it sounds like you guys are doing great though! i can imagine there would be some rough days and nights and tears, but it sounds like the happiness and joy are the majority of your emotions! yay! she is totally the cutest little thing ever!! ohh and I would still like to see some completed nursery pics!!!

Another Julia said...

She. Is. BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Jen said...

Ah, many things!
1. I also have a changing table pee-er. I have embraced it and I leave her diaper free and make faces at her until she pees once or twice. Also, a washcloth under her back will keep the pee from soaking her outfit and hair. (We don't have a changing table cover- much easier just to wipe off the plastic.)
2. I can't nap during the day either. However, I can hand the baby off to Matt and go off to bed at 8:00pm and sleep for a blissful few hours before he goes to bed.
3. Elizabeth was MASSIVELY noisy at night for her first month or so. I would swear that she was singing. She quit doing that and is now quiet unless she is starting to wake up. (At which time she doesn't cry anymore, she just calls out until someone fetches her.)
4. The non-sleep phases pass. Even though I am SMACK in the middle of one right this very moment.
5. I have so far only managed to chew on the feet, not actually consume them. But it is a daily struggle.

Olivia is beautiful! She's already grown so much.

Nic said...

She is beautiful! I would get DH to do some of the work!

JenM said...

Jen, she is such a dollbaby! I love her! It sounds like things are going great, and I'm sure you're an amazing Mommy and you will quickly learn all the ropes. But, for the love of God woman, get some sleep when you can! You know the DH will clean for you.

Emily said...

She is gorgeous, really, seriously a beautiful baby. Hang in there Jenn, you are doing a great job!

Mel said...

Why does it pass so fast? We are only on day 12 here and I cannot stop crying about how my little L is going to be 16 and asking for the car keys to go meet a boy before I know it. So sad!
L has the loudest gas and pooping noises, too. Husband and I just look at one another and laugh like little kids every time, too.
I am glad things are going so well... hopefully Olivia will slow her roll just a bit and not grow up TOO fast just yet. ;)

calliope said...

sort of thrilled at the idea that these little bundles will make so much noise!
And sweet lawd is she beautiful.
Happy month 1.

Sarah said...

She is perfect! The last pic, I swear looks fake. Like she is this perfectly beautiful little doll posed in a crib.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps your husband could take the 'early' night feeding and you could take the other(s)?
We also used to sorta wake my daughter at 11 pm to 'top her off' with a bottle. This would help hold her a bit longer until she needed a middle of the night feeding. Hang in'll figure all this stuff out. And you should have help from your hubby with feeding and cleaning!!


Leon Basin said...

Hey, how are you doing?

Pink-CJ said...

Awww. How cute! You haven't experienced nothing until a little boy pees in his face and pees all over your clothes while changing!! LOL! Think if you had 2 little girls!

the misfit said...

In addition to the fact that your post is typically hilarious, and appropriately festooned with beautiful baby pictures, I have to weigh in and say how much I enjoy about reading your blog that, having had a baby and crossed over to the "other side," you haven't gone for a totally new personality and become all gooey and starry-eyed and saccharine.

Tiffanie said...

it sounds like you are doing a great job at being a mother and she is so cute:)

Poppy said...

awww...look at Little Miss, she and her crib sheet coordinate! She's lovely!

Ann M. said...

Oh, yes, the Captain did the grunting-in-the-sleep thing for awhile. It hit around the 3 week mark and gradually sort of faded out. Really disturbing, though. It's called Grunting Baby Syndrome or something like that. It'll go away. Promise.

Kiki said...

Your baby is adorable!!

BTW I really love your blog and your writing style.

Rotten said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. It is nice to read someone else's words and know exactly where they are coming from... well, except for the first bath part. Our little one screamed bloody murder the first time and pooped on me the 2nd time, but there will be plenty more baths to come.
So glad you are enjoying motherhood as much as you are. Your daughter is beautiful, and love how her pants match her sheets in the last pic. ;)

Cassandra said...

It goes by too fast. Before you know it she'll be four months old. I don't know how it's possible to miss it while your deeply thrown into it, but that's exactly where I am at with my little man.