It appears that I have developed a bit of a problem with snot and phlegm. A problem, as in, I have both and can’t get rid of them, and sound like a disgusting germbot.
To make matters worse, I am afraid to ever blow my nose, because every once in a while I will get a raging nose bleed. And since I spend most of my time away from home these days, I am a bit hesitant to blow my nose seeing as I may create a faux murder scene.
With my luck, my nose blood would land right beside an actual murder victim’s blood at an actual crime scene, and I will go to jail for a murder that I didn’t commit because of the advances in DNA technology. I’m sure the victim would end up being fertile, then my blog would just end up being proof of my rage and indecency at trial.
You see, it’s best if I keep my snot in my nose, where it can form bloody crust boogers and make me sound like one of those annoying nasal talkers. Or a person with a cold who refuses to blow her nose, but instead sniffs snot all day long and drives you CRAZY.