Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Nosy Neighbor: the Sequel!

Good News: I am triggered!


But first, a Memorial Day tale of woe, since I am behind on my updating. Damn Conceive magazine, getting me all off track and whatnot...


Anyway, our city has the teeny-ist, most sad little Memorial Day parade. The parade goes right by our house since we live on one of the main roads. Every year we sit on the porch and watch, and every year we shake our heads and say, "We'll never get those 15 minutes back, will we?"


Maybe you've been reading long enough to remember the nosy neighbor situation? (If not, click here) Well, we have another set of neighbors with kids, and I haven't yet had the pleasure of laying down the proverbial INFERTILITY SMACKDOWN on this neighbor. I came close once when he made a point of calling us Dinks*, and then winking and saying, "but not for long, right?"


Dink guy told me last year that they were going to try to get pregnant in the spring, and they must have been successful because they had a baby in February. We hadn't yet met the new baby. Until Memorial Day.


We're sitting outside waiting for the parade, and our neighbors with kids are all sitting together at the end of the driveway next door. Dink guy comes out with the new baby in a stroller.

He looks over at us.

He waves.

He starts to walk over.


I tried to scare him away with a sheer look of HORROR. NO! Don't make me look at your baby! Just don't.

But he does, and it goes a little something like this:


Dink Guy: Well, I thought you'd like to meet our newest addition.

Jen: Oh, yes, I'd love to meet your new addition.

DG: Well, here she is!

Jen: Yes, I see…and what is her name?

DG: Allison.

Jen: She's adorable. Thanks for bringing her over.

DG: Yeah, she's a real porker! Look at these thighs! (uncovers the most delicious chubby baby thighs)

Jen: Oh, very cute. (And I hate you, go away)

DG: Yeah, she's a handful. I've got two kids and I need a nap! hahaha!

Jen: Yes, you should go take a nap.

DG: Yeah, we're done. Two kids is enough. I'm done.

Jen: Yes, well, congratulations. On being done. Good luck with that.

DG: Yeah, you know, we never get to sleep.

Jen: Well, that's unfortunate.

Mark: (completely silent, probably hoping I don't kill him)

DG: Well now you guys just need to have some!

Jen: Yeahhh….(avoids eye contact so that DG can't see red devil eyes)

DG: You have the puppies, now you just need some babies!

Jen: Really.

DG: Yeah, when are you going to have some?

Jen: Never, probably.

DG: haha! Yeah, well, I was 31 when I had my first, so you have some time…

Jen: Yep, we have lots of time. (and if you say "yeah" one more time, I might kick you in the weiner.)

DG: Yeah, well, I better get over there for the parade.

Jen: Thank you, Jesus!


Good times. To make matters worse, the neighbor kids were so cute during the entire parade – yelling and cheering at every display that went by. I kept welling up and choking back tears the entire time, and for once? Was glad to be in a small town where the parade only lasts 15 minutes.


But hey? What's a holiday without a good cry, right?


Back to business: I triggered last night, and my retrieval is tomorrow (Thursday). I am ready. I'm uncomfortable and am experiencing all sorts of weird side effects (click here to read about that weirdness). Looks like I had about 12 mature follicles, and countless smaller follies that may or may not catch up. I'll post an update as soon as I'm up and around!


*DINK = Dual Income, No Kids. I hate this label. Mostly because I deign to be a Dink, but also because I called penises dinkies when I was little. So when someone calls me a dink, it feels like they are calling me a dick while simultaneously pointing out the fact that we have all kinds of money and no kids.


Katie said...

I just realized I haven't commented in awhile. A couple of things:

Thanks for the shout-out to my ass a couple of days ago, although I think we are going with the 1.5 incher for the FET. You can never be too careful when it comes to butt size.

You are 100% right about Conceive magazines in the office. I love when there is a Pregnancy Today thrown in there while the Today show plays a mother's day special in the background (my last visit).

Dinkies, huh? I have a friend who called them tinkle machines. I was a wee-wee fan.

Best of luck tomorrow!!! You'll do awesome. I'll tell my totsicles to peak out of the cryofreezer and make sure yours are behaving themselves.

Murgdan said...

First--Excellent BLOG--I've read the entire thing today and it provided some much needed laughs, and a few sighs as well.

Second--Just found out I'm one step down from a DINK. I'm an OINK. An OINK! My husband is a student and I'm the only income right now. EEK.

Lost in Space said...

Stupid fertiles. So sorry you had to listen to that. I loathe the term DINKs. Yup, we're rolling in the dough (for the 5 minutes before we hand it over to our RE).

Good luck tomorrow. I think this group of eggs will be much better behaved.

PJ said...


I just discovered the whole "dink" term. Equally obnoxious!

Baby heads. I love them. They are soft and smell so sweet. Although I do get the thigh thing, cuz they can be awfully cute.


Good luck with retrieval!!! Yay!

MamaSoon said...

LOL! I had never heard of DINKs before.

How sucky to have to have that thrust in your face.

On the other hand, your follies sound AWESOME! Good luck at your retrieval tomorrow. You'll have all sorts of comingling by afternoon, embies in every direction.

BB and MTB said...

Wow - DG is clueless. But then, he is a man, so what the heck does he know?

Good luck tomorrow and I hope you get tons of well behaved little ones!!

pamela.ilovemcdreamy said...

Hate nosey people... We've been struggling with infertility and yet everytime, I try to put on a brave front with conversations like you just had.

We're an OINK. My husband is working whilst I am recovering and then, back to the job hunt.

Good luck. Take all the good luck that we're giving and put it in your BOGL (Bag of Good Luck).. and I am hoping for hope for you.


sarah23 said...

Oh, wow. I remember the term DINK from around the time of YUPPIE-mania (mid/late 1980s). I guess that's what we are, too.

Congrats on the trigger and lots 'o luck at your ER tomorrow!!

Our neighbor's daughter (age 29 or 30, I think) has a newborn. I saw him this AM as he was being dropped off with his grandparents for babysitting. Cute as a button, but yeah, it's hard to take sometimes when you are dealing with IF.

BTW, I looked in my RE's office for Conceive Magazine and confirmed that they don't have it. HOWEVER, they had something which sounds like the exact same magazine: "Family Building". It was a magazine with articles about IVF, Adoption, RESOLVE, etc along with lots of ads for REs. I was not very impressed.

Thanks for your well wishes on my blog. :)

Vanessa said...

Your neighbor sounds like the kind of guy I would have to smack, regardless of conversation. He just sounds like an annoying putz.
...via NCLM...

Heather said...

Oh yeah, we were dinks for 6 years, not that we wanted to be. Now we've been the selfish one child family for seven years, "You need to have another?" Can I hit someone?

Wishing 4 One said...

the dink guy would have been layed out flat and his dink wife running away with baby if it were my house. Kidding. Screw em, and good luck today, i know it'll be a GREAT transfer!!!

seriously? said...

I hate those people that say "we're going to get pregnant (fillin the blank)" I LOVE that it is that easy for them. Screw them and their obnoxious planning.

Jill said...

DINK? Really? I've never heard the term, but I guess we're "DINK"s as well! Stupid Fertiles.


Michelle & Gary said...

What an annoying neighbor! Why cant some people recognize when they are being over the top?
Wishing you lots and lots of luck with your ER today!

~Jess said...

Isn't it wonderful?! I've never heard the DINK thing I know what to listen for.

That guy is a shmuck. I probably would have walked back into the house and left my husband to deal with it.

It seems like ever holiday comes with it's own set of baby issues. Argh!

Io said...

I hope retrieval kicks ass and those little punk eggs of yours fall into line.
Hee, I like Pamela's OINK - I guess that's what Al and I are right now too. We're pigs, not penises!

JJ said...

Lovely Dink...sorry for that encounter!

OOo best of luck today, Jen! Ill be thinking of you!

Malloryn said...

Good luck with your retrieval! I hope it goes very well.

Your neighbor is so clueless. I haven't heard of DINK before, but now that I know what it is... woe to the first person who uses it to describe us! I'm sorry you had to deal with that nonsense.

Mel said...

Sigh. I'd like to kick your neighbor in the weiner myself. I love the dialogue and feel like I experience that very same conversation regularly.
Good luck with the transfer... fingers crossed for you!

Jaci said...

Hey Jen!

I've slowly been reading all of your blogs and I have to say they are amazing! You've always been hilarious. :)

I didn't know you were going through so much, and I'm praying for you. Also, I've probably been one of those people who've said, "At least you can have fun trying!" and didn't realize that the comment was really annoying! Sorry about that.

Oh, and the neighbor? I'm willing to bet he's hanging out in baby hell right now, and he's looking over at you guys longing for the good old days pre-kids. To really irritate him, go on and on about expensive vacation plans while cuddling Mark and acting all newlywed-ish.

Good luck with your retrieval!

hopefaithlove said...

It will never stop, as soon as you have one people start asking when the next one will come along, hello people just had a baby and do you know how hard it is to GET that ONE! It makes you want the shake people.

Oh and your neighbor just can not catch a clue, you did not want him around.

Good Luck with ER

Deborah said...

Some people really are clueless. Kudos to you for not giving it to him in the dink. I've never had he guts to say it, but when cornered with that line of conversation I've always wanted to say.."well I am not allowed to have children as a condition of my parole.." Always wondered what they would say. Bet they wouldn't call you over anymore to look at their baby!

Deborah said...

Some people are completely clueless. Kudos to you for not kicking him in the dink. I have never done it, but when cornered with that conversation I've always wanted to tell them, "...I am not allowed to have children as a condition of my parole.." It would be fun to see what someone would say. Bet they'd never call you over to see their baby again!

Tabatha said...

I've never heard the term DINK before. I'll never understand why EVERYTHING needs to have a name. ugh. Your comment about kicking him in the weiner nearly made me fall off my stool. hilarious.

Aunt Becky said...

I just kicked him in the wiener for you. Telepathically. It felt really, really good.

calliope said...

this guy's wiener is totally a Vienna sausage by now because my plaid boots just dinked his dinkie too.

sending you some wicked good mojo for a great ER today.

Deb said...

Ooooohhhh, I hope the retrieval went well.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Lorrie said...

I detest the term DINK!! (Probably because everyone assumes you're rolling in money -- and you would be, if you didn't have to fork over 90% of your paycheck to the RE for the millionth time).

Know what else I detest? Nosy weirdos whom you've barely met, but who have no problem asking about the most intimate parts of your life. I've never been brave enough to actually zing them with the truth (and hopefully shame them into never bringing up babies with ANYONE EVER AGAIN).

Yay for triggering!

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Oh, I just LOVE NaComLeavMo, coz I've just found such a fabulous blog! Erm... yours, that is, realised I hadn't quite made that clear. (Notwithstanding the fact that it would be breathakingly insensitive to bust unceremoniously into someone's comments and announce that someone ELSE over the virtual way is shit-hot, these type of people evidently do exist. And it appears that they live by you. I'm so sorry about that.)

Fingers very tightly crossed here for a successful cycle.

Fert Fighter said...

ok first things first, good luck with your retrieval!
Secondly, I feel you on the welling up with tears, I just finished venting about going to a preschool graduation tomorrow...I hope I can make it through the whole thing with out boo hooing all over the freakin place.

My neighbor next door is equally as "special" as yours, She asked when we were going to have kids during our first conversation on the day we moved in to our house, when I tried to blow it off and tell her we had only been married for a year maybe next year blah blah blah she looked at me like I had a 3rd eye and said I better hurry up becuase it gets harder as you get, Thanks for the info! Good job on restraining yourself! :)

Stephanie said...

I hope that your retrieval went well!

I've never heard the term dink and would shoot someone if they ever said it to me because I am for sure not swimming in dough. I am pretty good about straight up tellin people when they ask...."well, we've been trying for about 8 years, so I'll let you know when it happens, thanks."

Could that be why I don't have many second conversations with people?

momofonefornow said...

People are so damned stupid. I just skip the niceties. I figure that if you are asking personal questions you better be damn prepared for a personal answer. My conversations go like this
Idiot "Are you going to have anymore kids?"
Me "Well it depends on my ovaries. After several injections and INTERNAL ultrasound we didn't have any success. Do you know what an INTERNAL ultrasound is? Shall I tell you?"

Works like a charm every time, mwahahaha. I use to care about making people uncomfortable but too many encounters like the one that you had turned me into a smartass and I don't care if people like it or not.

Sorry about the Dink guy. Good luck with your tranfer, I hope all goes well.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Yikes, that guy needs to get a clue. Want me to go kick him in his dink for you?
Oh, and if you're a dink... I guess that makes me a nink?? Or a dink who spends more on the nk's than I get from the di's.

Bon said...

HAHA! I love your blog. GOOD LUCK with the triggering, etc. I hope you get good and knocked up so you can bring over your triplets to see Mr. Asswipe and tell him you took his advice and decided to get more than a dog, all because of him. What a douche.

JamieD said...

Good luck with your transfer!

Your explanation of DINK made me laugh so hard, I spit out my gum!! I suppose it is better than choking on it, but now I have the problem of trying to find it . . .

Laura said...


The term has a Y at the end of it in Ireland so it is DINKY (Dual Income, No Kids YET!)

I hope your ER went well yesterday. Will check back in to see how things are going.

Senora Roocell said...

I think maybe these insensitive morons can subconsciously "smell out" people undergoing infertility treatment. From my experience if you're really not trying and don't know you're infertile nobody seems to give a hoot when they ask if you have kids and you say "Not yet." But once you know it's not that easy they just pry and pry and pry and pry... It's like they know but they don't know that they know so we need to get the courage to tell them exactly how clueless and rude they are.

Katie said...

Via NaCOmLeavMo...
That neighbor sounds like one pain in the ass. Unfortunately there are some people in life who seemed to miss out on the picking up on other peoples feelings... They're the one's I practise my, kill a pupil dead in 10 seconds if they don't stop that right now, glare. seems to do the trick... they soon seem to work out that they are better leaving me alone!

Emily said...

I am just getting caught up, but I hope ER went well!!!! Hope you are feeling better! GL!!!!

~S said...

wow - what a moron! people say the dumbest things don't they?

Emily (Apron Strings) said...

heh heh heh ... you said penises ... :-)

Okay, yes. Lame reference to Beavis & Butthead, which is who your damn nosy neighbor must have channeled.

I so hate that people feel like they need to put their two f*cking cents in as to when we should have kids. As if.... As in, as if we haven't been frickin' trying!!

You're a much better person than I am. I probably would have walked away and let Hubby deal with nosy frickin' neighbor!

poppy.f.seed said...

fun play-by-play, though!

Hope you get a great fertilization report!

Ms. J said...

When I first read this last night, I wanted to come over and kick your neighbor's a*s.

I'm re-reading it the following morning and . . . yep, I still have the same urge. I have on my big clog sandals with the chunky heel, which I think would be great for stomping on him! Ya cool with that?!

Tricia said...

Now see, I would have just said.. "I'm infertile". That usually shuts people up really, really quick.