Thursday, April 24, 2008

Panic! about the IVF*

OR: Multiple Personalities Much?

Tuesday was a day filled with so many switching emotions, that I considered calling for psychiatric consult to sort through what must obviously be my multiple personality disorder. In the early morning? Exhausted. In the late morning? Hopeful. In the early afternoon? Pissed off. In the late afternoon? Happy! In the evening? Stressed!

When I talked to Dr. Goldfarb last week, he said it was fine to move forward with another fresh cycle. I discussed my reasoning with him, including the fact that we have two vacations coming up (Caribbean! Vegas!). He seemed to think it was fine. Told me to call on my cycle day 1.

Speaking of cycle day 1 – what has been happening since Tuesday could only be described as PURE MENSTRUAL EVIL! Just…wow. And not cool.

Anyway, after the commencement of PURE MENSTRUAL EVIL, I called the office to get my prescription for birth control pills so that I could get started. And I was so excited! Because I got Sally! My favorite!

Except! She seemed to be really annoyed that I had the nerve to schedule TWO vacations this summer when hello? I’m infertile, I should know better than to try to plan something other than vag cam visits and bloodwork.

I should know better than to, I don’t know, enjoy my life. How selfish of me! And maybe it is selfish to need to have something to look forward to other than sub-q shots and daily violations of my already public vagina. BUT, if the first IVF worked, it wouldn’t be an issue now, would it? No. So maybe we both screwed up, Sally. How ‘bout them apples? Sour, aren’t they?

So Sally was annoyed with me, and was telling me that they weren’t going to let me do an IVF before two vacations, and then changed her mind and said maybe between the Caribbean and Vegas (which still makes no sense), then went back to no! No IVF for you until September!

From what I could gather, her rationale was this: if I am pregnant after IVF # 2, I don't know how I'll feel. Will traveling harm a potential pregnancy? Well, no. But still! You might not feel good. And do you have travel insurance?

My rationale was this: if I am pregnant after IVF # 2, it's not like I get a 9 month pass to sit at home if I don't feel good. I'll still have to go to work and school, and resume life like normal. So either I can go to the Caribbean, lay on my ass all day, and eat lots of food. Or I can go to work from 8 - 4:30, then to school from 5 - 8, then get home and go to bed at 9. Which sounds more relaxing to you?

Our conversation ended with Sally saying that she would consult with the doctor and call me back, and me being irrationally angry at the prospect of waiting until September to try this all again. I mean, do you have any idea how many more pregnancies, baby announcements, baby showers, and birthday parties there will be between now and then? Too many, that’s how many.

Four hours later, Sally called back and pretty much acted like we never had our earlier conversation. She called in my birth control prescription, and said that she would call and order my medications. While the doctor didn’t really think the vacations were a super big deal, we will be overlapping my birth control and Lupron for a week in order to move the retrieval and transfer up a week. That way, if IVF # 2 does work, I’ll have two betas in before I leave for the cruise.

Have I mentioned that I love getting my way?

The short version: crisis averted, IVF # 2 started yesterday. (If I was nice, I would've put that at the beginning so you didn't have to read the entire thing. If I was really a jerk, I would've put it after the dumbass footnotes.)

*Have you heard the crap news about Panic! at the Disco? Apparently, then have changed their name from: Panic! at the Disco, to: Panic at the Disco. Why would you ever ever do that? Well, I had that exact same question! Apparently, people were having a hard time finding and downloading their songs on iTunes because of the “!” and so they are changing it so that they can make more money. I think they should change their name to: Sellout! on the iTunes. Money grubbing whores. Mostly, I’m just mad because now, when I hear one of their songs, I can’t yell “PANIC!" (at the top of my lungs) "at the disco" (at a whisper).” **

**Also, Panic (no !) at the Disco has also lost it’s coveted #1 spot on my List of Awesome Band Names. Maybe you’ve never heard of my List of Awesome Band Names, and that’s your problem. You should know that it is a highly sought-after(ish) honor in the entertainment industry. And Panic! at the Disco was #1, just in front of #2, Butthole Surfers. But Butthole Surfers is now #1, and #2 goes to a tie between Limp Bizkit and Mr. Mister. ***

***OMFG! I have hit a new low, haven’t I? It’s sad. Send nachos.


Mrs. Higrens said...

Sounds like Sally was also suffering from multiple personalities. Sorry you had to go through that after getting everything straight with Dr. G.

I love to get my own way as well, especially when it comes to enjoying my life.

Dreamer4agift said...

Sorry 'bout Sally...maybe she was pms'ing. At least it seems things are gonna work out in your favor!:) Afterall, how better a way to "just relax" than on a vaca!

Misty River said...

Jen...I'll try not to let this sound as bitter and it sounds in my head...but you have TWO vacations and can still get in a round of IVF? I had to cancel a LONG WEEKEND to Jamaica b/c of IVF #1.

Unbelievable. I'll add you to the list of people I'm living through vicariously.

Good luck with this one!

Katie said...

I am waiting now for Sally to call me to get my BCPs--whoop, whoop. I was going to ask her if I could take baby aspirin this cycle but after reading your post, maybe I will hold off. She can be a little testy. I have two long weekends to work around and I am hoping that's OK. You have me all frazzled now.

PJ said...

Woohoo! Carribean AND Vegas? I'm jealous! All I've got is Chicago coming up, which btw includes a stop in Cleveland -(wanna grab lunch?). That's late June.

And OMG you're writing for Redbook!!! That's too cool! I can say I knew her when...

Menstrual evil. Sounds bad. I wonder if that's par for the course after IVF?

Oh Sally, pfft!

Alison said...

LOL!! I actually have seriously had a hard time googling or searching for Panic(!) b/c of that dumb symbol! Too funny.

Victoria said...

I just found you at Redbook. You're funny and nice! Good luck to you!

BB and MTB said...

Good luck w #2 and hopefully last IVF!

Wendy said...

So glad you're going to be able to work out the ivf and the vacations! Now if only you could work out even one vacation for me, too!!!

sarah23 said...

Yes, I also got some (minor) attitude when I told them that I am going on vacation to France on May 15th. See, I'm supposed to have my beta on May 15th. But that is 16DP egg retrieval, and I think that is ridiculous! If I'm negative at that point, I will know. If not, I'll know that too. IF I would be so lucky as to be pregnant, don't really want to agonize about "are my betas doubling?" etc.

I overlapped BCP and Lupron by the way. At my RE's office, that seems to be the normal procedure.

I'm getting to be such an oldster...I've never even heard of Panic(!) at the Disco. I do remember that I first heard of the Butthole Surfers when I was in 6th grade, and I was really shocked!

Tiffanie said...

yuck, sorry sally sucks sometimes! and, where is def leopard on your list of horrible names? that is pretty bad, or do you only use more current ones?

Lost in Space said...

"No soup for you!" (think Seinfeld)

How dare you try to have a life outside of IF. wink. Sorry it was such a roller-coaster day and glad that you are getting your way. Go and enjoy. At least she didn't tell you to wait until after the vacations because we all know that relaxing on vacation makes us pregnant, right?

Mombi said...

I think Sally was just jealous of all of the vacations. Maybe AF was being an evil whore to her as well.

Glad to hear things are moving along and I'm so excited to see your Redbook posts! Way to go!

Gretchen said...

Hi Jen, Just found you from Redbook. We're also from Ohio and ended up with triplets from an IUI with Clomid done by Dr. Goldfarb. I just wanted to say good luck to a fellow Clinic-ite!

the Babychaser: said...

Oh my god, I am so sharing your Evil Menstrual Pain. Obviously, it isn't as bad as the endings of my last two IVF cycles, but this plain old AF is kicking my sorry butt!

I can't believe your NURSE tried to tell you that you couldn't do an IVF cycle because you had vacations scheduled AFTER your beta. That's some serious nerve.

You know what the new blood nurse told me yesterday? She told me that maybe I'm not pregnant yet because "God wants [me] to get some rest first." Thus combining two of my most hated IF comments: (1) that God wants me to suffer like this, and (2) that babies are so much work that I don't really want one. Aside from that, how stupid is she? What do I need "rest" from? From sitting on my couch eating ice cream and wishing I had a baby? I wish I'd said something to her. I just glowered, which I think went unnoticed.

And finally--what the fuck is Redbook? Have you become suddenly famous through some forum I've never heard of? Were you always famous, and just hiding it from me? Will you remember me when you've got so many fans that I'm just a tiny little blip on your screen?

(It is true, though, you are a wonderful writer. I hope that if you're not already doing it, you end up writing for a living someday. You could write some kick-ass snarky chick-lit.)

Oh, and one of my favorite band names has always been Toad the Wet Sprocket. I know, I'm really old.