I was reading through my super secret bitching blog entries, and I found this one. It happened over the summer…here it is:
Nosy to Epic Proportions:
My neighbor thought it a great idea to ask me when we are planning to have kids. And she would. Not. Drop. It.
After her fifth inquiry (nope, not an exaggeration), clueless mc can'ttakeahintyson got a bitchy response from me.
Clueless: When are you guys going to start this drama (with a suggestive eye rolled toward her two adorable children who were playing in my yard and making my dog pee all over himself)?
Jen: Ohhh...heehee...I don't know! Also, did you guys get your property tax eval in the mail? Because if I can't change the subject right now I may have to hit you with my infertility knowledge which you will. not. like. Plus we have a dog, and he's our baby...
Clueless: Oh well you just can't imagine how great it is to have kids. It's so much more fulfilling than having a puppy! hahaha! Can we come in your house and see your new paint?
Jen: Sure! Blah blah blah, would like to get new carpet because the construction company must have used el cheapo carpet from the Goodwill.
Clueless: Ah, yes, but you will want to wait a few years after you have babies because they seriously mess up your carpet. When are you guys going to start trying?
Jen: What Mark? Oh, yes, sure, let's show them the basement. And we will probably finish this in like 5 years when our assholes heal from the raping we took on the deck and shed.
Clueless: You would love a finished basement when you have kids! Are you trying now, and also, should I just take this switchblade and shove it directly into your heart, or do you prefer eyeball stabs?
Jen: Ummm...uh...well, yes, we will probably need a second living room when we have a family. Shall we go upstairs?
Clueless: Ohhh, this bedroom will make the perfect nursery! When are you going to fill this room with a baby! wink, wink!
UberBitchJen: Well, actually Clueless, we've been trying for almost two years to get pregnant and we're actually having quite the struggle with infertility, so that whole baby thing isn't really going as planned, so....
Clueless: Oh. Well. Um, sorry. About that. So, we're probably going to head back over home now. And, we'll see you...tomorrow? Or sometime.
Clueless: KIDS! Let's go! We don't want to catch infertility! Ack!
Jen: That'll teach ya. Stupid fertile.