Sunday, March 23, 2008

More unnecessary details about my ultrasound appointment.

So…I was the asshole who showed up at 6:45 a.m. while they were still turning on the lights. I mean, I don't want to get on anyone's bad side, but I figure they have so many patients that they won't even remember who I am. Right? Whatever – knock me up and I won't have to come early anymore! Impregnate me and you will have peace and quiet until 7 a.m.!

I'm glad I got there early, because I was the first one back. And when I came out to wait between bloodwork and ultrasound there were at least 10 couples waiting. I hope they don't catch on to the 6:45 trick (if you're reading, don't steal my early-morning thunder).

At my old RE, they would call the couple by the woman's name, so I'd be Jennifer K. Which seems stupid, but seriously, I think every woman who birthed a girl in the 80's was required to use the name JENNIFER, and now all of the infertile Jennifer's are all up in the waiting rooms at the same time as me! And at Goldfarb's office, they just call by first name. So Friday was the second time I went in, and they called Jennifer, and two of us stood up, then the nurse had to frantically flip the file around and say: Jennifer A. Which is funny, because my maiden name started with A and so I was THIS close to making the lady give out more info to the entire waiting room. But since I went and got married she didn't have to. I just stood up like an asshole when it wasn't my turn. No. Big. Deal.

I didn't pass out during bloodwork (I need to quit pointing that out, but still! Praise me! I didn't pass out and I want my props!) but the nurse did whatever it is that they do to make a big ass bruise immediately. And today the bruise is huge and black, and it HURTS like a mother.

I only had to wait about 5 minutes to go back again for the ultrasound. For some reason I was the Nervous-Chatty-Kathy version of Jen at the appointment, and couldn't stop talking! I think the nurse wanted to hoagie slap me with the ultrasound wand because nobody wants to talk to Nervous-Chatty-Kathy at 6:45 a.m. The problem was that I really wanted to start stims Friday, so I was really anxious about the results of the ultrasound.

So anxious, in fact, that I forgot to hide my underwear! Ack! I was scooting down on the table and already in the stirrups when I looked to my left and saw the horror of all horrors! Undies right on top of the clothing pile! This is the most ridiculous notion, and I know everyone does it – hiding your underwear from the gynecologist and/or RE. You're in the stirrups showing it ALL, but gawd forbid you don't hide your freaking underwear because that would be indecent. I wonder if they care? Like, if they mark on your chart: WHORE, FORGOT TO HIDE UNDERWEAR.

The ultrasound room was really cool. They have a screen for you to watch the ultrasound. It contributed to the chattyness problem I was having because I was all, "That is so cool even though I don't know what I'm looking at do I have any cysts please punch me so I'll stop talking." She pointed out all the follicles as she counted them and told me what each thing was, so it was really neat to be able to see it.

Don't get too excited, BUT! I go back for another bloodwork and ultrasound appointment tomorrow morning, and I'll surely have many pointless details to post and I will turn few words into way too many.

I can't wait to see how the follies are growing!!


Wendy said...

You just made me laugh with your "Whore forgot to hide her underwear!" comment. I needed that (and yes, I hide mine, too.) Thank you for your post on my blog. It's been such a lousy weekend. Friday was such a bad day for us. We're just trying to move on a little more each day. Thank you again.

Jendeis said...

Hiding the underwear! I am so with you, what is wrong with us?! :)

PJ said...

After my last IUI I came home to find out that I had put my underwear on inside out!

And yes, I hide my underwear even though I get to change in a separate bathroom and leave my clothes in there. But that means that I've gotta remember to take the sheet in with me, and for the life of me I can't remember to do that. After soooo much practice, even.

I also talk a lot when I'm nervous. I know last week when I got bloodwork the nurse wanted me to shut up--but oh well. Sucks to be her!

Io said...

Ha! You can count me in on the hide your underwear bandwagon! Of course, in addition to seeming indecent somehow, my underwear is also just embarrassing. I am a total grannie panties gal.

Bec said...

Oh no! I always do the hiding the underwear thing too - isn't it terrible! :) Your posts crack me up, which is just what I need today. Thanks xx

Malloryn said...

This post was awesome. I am also a member of the underwear hiding society. There's nothing quite like the horror of glancing over and seeing it there, when you're in a position to do nothing about it. Thanks for the laugh :)

Mrs. Higrens said...

Post-coital this afternoon for me, and yes, I WILL be hiding my underwear.

apronstringsemily said...

LOL! I'm so happy to know that I'm not the only one who has the urge to hide the underwear.

Thanks for the laugh today!

Eggie said...

Yes, I think everyone hides their underwear and I never thought about how silly it is, thanks so much for pointing that out. I am now going to think about it every time I have to hide my underwear!


Ahuva Batya said...

I can already tell I heart you. The hiding the underwear thing... classic. Congratulations for not passing out yet!

sarah23 said...

Oh Wow!! This is the first time I've read your blog (and thanks for visiting mine).

#1... I am DEFINITELY adding you to my blogroll

#2... I ALWAYS hide my underwear, too!! Soo soo funny!