Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter Misunderstanding to Beat All Easter Misunderstandings.

Easter was pretty uneventful, save one thing.

(Unless you think that my eating so much that I gained 4 pounds in two days is eventful. Then a lot happened. A lot of eating. Not a lot of moving. Am fat glutton. Want cookie...send diet pills...)

Have you ever had someone say something to you that sounded inappropriate, but wasn't, but you thought it was because you weren't following their train of thought? I have had that happen a lot, probably because I have a strange thought pattern, but still. I had a doozie of a moment with my brother-in-law on Easter.

I'm going into the kitchen to throw away my plate, and my brother-in-law says:

"So Jen, all I really want to know is, has he gone down on you yet?"

And the room is quiet. You could hear a mouse fart at this point, so the sound of my jaw hitting the floor could be compared to the sound of a 400 pound man falling off the toilet. There is a random giggle from somewhere in the peanut gallery as I try to come up with an answer to this, this, this...question.

I mean seriously. Who says that? I don't even know what my face looked like, but all I was thinking was "ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod...what? ew... ohmygod ohmygod"

Then after what seemed like an eternity, he follows up with, "THE NEEDLES! THE NEEDLES!"

And finally I get what he's saying! He's not asking an inappropriate sexual question in front of my 80 year-old grandma-in-law! He's asking if Mark has gone down/passed out/bit the big one! *whew*

Of course Mark knew what his brother was saying, because they just had a phone conversation a few days before, and Mark was telling him that he thought he would pass out when giving me the PIO shot, blah blah blah.

And of course Mark was too busy eating cinnamon rolls and laughing his ass off during this whole scenario to end my pain and suffering, because look! My wife thinks my brother is asking her if I go down on her! So much hilariousness...and so much cinnamon goodness...!

So that was funny, and remained to be funny for the rest of the three hours we spent there. I'm quite positive it will go down in the "STORIES WE MUST TELL AT EVERY GATHERING" list.

In fertility news, I had another round of bloodwork and ultrasounds today. Things are progressing...fine, I guess? I can only assume, because I was herded through with the rest of the infertile cattle and told to keep taking 5 units of Lupron and 225 of Follistim and come back on Wednesday. Moo.

So begins the every-other-day bloodwork and ultrasound, I suppose! I just do what I'm told.


apronstringsemily said...

OMG! How incredibly hilarious! This is twice in one day that you've had me on the floor laughing!

And exactly ... how loud is a mouse's fart?! :-P

PJ said...

Imagining what a 400 pound man falling off a toilet sounds like...

Too funny!

Hmmm... payback?

Bec said...

Hahahahahahaha, oh my goodness, I would have just stood there as well!

Io said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh that is SO funny. Oh g*d that is SO FUNNY. hehehehehehe

Ahuva Batya said...

HI, I'm new to your blog and this just cracked me up. I would have been speechless, but wouldn't have been able to avoid the highly-arched eyebrow. Assuming, of course, I had mastered the highly-arched eyebrow, which I sadly have not. Sounds like your stim cycle is progressing, that is great!

Marie said...

Very funny!

Malloryn said...

OMG, that is too funny! I think I heard the sound of your jaw hitting the floor all the way here!

Mrs. Higrens said...

That's too funny. Brothers-in-law are so much fun. Hah!

Alison said...

Hi Jen! I found your blog through lost and found. Read back a few posts... you are so funny! I loved all of it, fun to read. I look forward to reading more!

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog makes me realise I'm not the only one jabbing myself in the gutts (twice) every morning and having appointments with Dildo Cam every second day. I think we are pretty much on par with our cycle. Feeling a bit like one of the red crabs from Christmas Island (Australia) with their 1000's of eggs and I was told this morning that my levels would double over the next couple of days.... can't wait.
Good luck with everything.
Shell - IVF Australia

apronstringsemily said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog!

And hmm ... I believe in order to find my smiley sandwich photo ... i googled open faced. Probably much better than googling sh*t faced ...

Mombi said...

That was so effing funny! I would have paid at least $2.37 to have been there for that!

Eggie said...

Okay, that whole story has me over here cracking up.

Jared is sending strange glances my way, he wouldn't understand.