Today I was really feeling like crap. I was feeling like crap not only because I'm giving myself daily injections of Lupron, but also because I got my period. I was crampy and exhausted and feeling the beginnings of a migraine. That's when I gave you the opportunity to be the hero and save the day but NO! You did not save the day.
Now, Tylenol, I would never normally buy you and waste my time with taking you. But apparently you are the only pain reliever that I can take during my month-long IVF party. So I gave you a try because I was in pain and was seduced by your promises of pain relief and fever reducing. You liar.
Let me share some of my thoughts on you, Tylenol, in list form:
- Acetaminophen? Hmph. More like Ashitaminophen.
- Tylenol, don't quit your day job.
- Hey Tylenol! You suck at life and your ass looks fat.
- Tylenol: I fart in your general direction.
- Suck it, Tylenol.
- I HATE TYLE..zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I'll have you know that I came home, looked at my dirty sexy bottle of Aleve, and cried giant crocodile tears for at least two minutes.
You are a disgrace.