Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Assault by mail.

You know what's worse than your first IVF shot?

Getting a baby shower invitation on the day of your first IVF shot.

Be Prepared: this is an infertility-fueled rant that will make me seem like a baby and will probably make you not want to read this blog anymore. You've been warned.

So I got an email from this person on ChristmasfuckingEve to announce her pregnancy. From someone I haven't talked to in, oh, 13 months? And never got an email about anything else from this person, ever. But I am on the giant list of people on this email announcing a pregnancy on ChristmasfuckingEve!*

I emailed her back and gave my congratulations, and also asked how she was doing and what she's been up to (other than, you know, having sex and conceiving and just generally stealing my thunder). She never responded.

Fast forward to NewfuckingYearsEve: I get ULTRASOUND pictures and a poem or something. Christ Almighty! 2007 sucked until literally the last day! Again, I emailed my congratulations and never got a response. Whatever.

So I think it was almost like kismet that I receive the invitation to her shower on the day of my IVF shot. It would have only been better if I could have gotten it on my birthday or maybe our anniversary in two weeks. Maybe she can show up at my house on the day of my Beta and stick her tongue out at me right before I get my results?

*Please note that ChristmasfuckingEve sucked for me anyway. Because Mark's cousin just had her baby AND Mark's sister had a baby last year). And I was going to have to spend ChristmasfuckingEve with people with babies, who want to make me hold their babies, and who want to tell me how I should enjoy my sleep and my ability to do whatever I want (WTF?!). And also: when are you guys going to have babies you're not getting any younger have some girls please thankyou. Good times.


Io said...

I don't know why we wouldn't want to read you again! I have wanted to kill many a pregnant woman.
Wtf are you getting all this shit from her for? You're not going to the shower are you? Even if she didn't know about your IF, I hate people who only call when they want to basically brag about shit they did.

Katie said...

Super annoying. I think I am going to write a rap a la DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince entitled "Fertiles Just Don't Understand" and sing it on Youtube.

Your rants are funny. Mine (today's) was just pathetic. But thanks for the condolences. I start Lupron on CD2 (2 weeks from now-ish?) and Gonal-F on CD3. I guess that is the "flare" part.

andrea said...

you should have emailed her your "what not to say to a person with IF" entry....

just my 2cents. ;)

oh, and glad the lupron isn't so bad - i would have been all panic-ed about it as well.

liina said...

Sorry. I always dread opening emails from people I haven't heard from a while. I just KNOW it's all about babies...

Mrs. Higrens said...

I've checked your calendar and see that you already have plans for the day of the shower. They involve a day spa and plenty of pampering. Just taking advantage of your child-free life - isn't that what they tell you to do?

Jill said...

He's 70? really? and still fathering children? ew.

Also, she's mean. But maybe nice. But still mean. Sorry :(

Pepper said...

Sometimes doesn't it seem like we're assaulted from all angles? And in our own homes, no less! We expect to see pg women whilst strolling along the street, but we let our guard down at home. It's supposed to be a sanctuary and the last place you expect to be bombarded with news of Other People's Pregnancies.

If she weren't pg, you'd definitely qualify for special dispensation to smack her upside the head.

BTW - a trick I learned a few years ago when attending showers became difficult: find their registry online and send a gift instead. You don't have to be surrounded by baby stuff and you don't even have to wrap it. Best of all: you don't have to attend.

Jen said...

Oh, I'm totally not going to that shower! Hell no! Hell no is compounded by the fact that it's the Sunday of the expected week of ER and ET. No thank you.

Jen said...

Oh, I'm totally not going to that shower! Hell no! Hell no is compounded by the fact that it's the Sunday of the expected week of ER and ET. No thank you.

the Babychaser: said...

I haven't been to a baby shower in 3 years. Just plain old refuse to go. One of my best friends is preggers right now and just asked me straight up if I wanted to be invited to the shower. What a doll! I told her hell, no. But I'll come see her after the baby's born.

She's like the perfect pregnant friend. Maybe I'll do a post about her and giver he mad props.

Jen, feel free to bitch any time about Smug Fertiles. I hate them all. Hate them. I've had my thunder stolen so many times that if/when (still can't settle on which word to use) I get pregnant, the news will make no noise at all. Just a teensy little whisper. Seriously, everyone's already a grandparent now, most of my friends have already had their first kid. Unless I have triplets, all I'm going to get from anyone is "been there, done that."