I'm over half way done with When Nature's Not Enough: Personal Journeys through In Vitro Fertilization by Diana Olick.
It is the IVF book that Mark found in my car on Tuesday, and I'm glad he did. You know, because now I can read it. And also because I won't have to pay the library for it.
The author has gone through IVF, and she tells her own story and mixes it in with the stories of four other couples. She's not outright funny, but she has a light sense of humor. I don't think it's a book for the husband folk. She and the other couples tell about their experiences with the drugs, the doctors, and the overall ridiculousness that is IVF. I felt like I was reading a very well –articulated version of my life for the past two years.
One thing I hate so far is her need to call IUI…turkey basting. TURKEY BASTING! Yucka yuck yucko! WTF? Why?! Diana Olick you have ruined Thanksgiving for me (and my readers) forever. If you were a fertile, I would never forgive you.
I absolutely love the male parts of the interviews. You get to hear about how they felt, what they thought, and how hard it was to express it all.
It made me feel bad for being hard on Mark for not understanding and not showing his emotions. I know men are different – I get that.
Being half done reading, I don't know how it ends, but I'm sure they all end up as IVF Success stories, and that's OK.
I like this book very much. I started reading it at the perfect time because I've been (secretly) feeling really apprehensive about my upcoming IVF. I've been faking excitement over the beginning of the cycle, because to me it really feels like I'm on my tippie toes at the edge of a cliff and when I take that first shot of Lupron, I take the big leap. The big leap being IVF, and IVF being OUR LAST CHANCE.
When I first wandered into the world of infertility, I used to surf blogs and message boards trying to find people in worse situations that me. I would read the Trouble TTC board on the Nest and see signatures with "TTC 24 months, MFIF, 1% Kruger Morph" and think, "Shit, I'm glad that's not me."
Now that it's me, I feel an intense amount of pressure. Pressure to do this cycle while working and going to school. Pressure to be a mother. Pressure to provide my husband with a biological child that he could not have without science. Pressure to give my mom a grandchild because I am an only child. Pressure to make this life that I want to happen, happen.
Back in the beginning, I felt like there was a long line between myself and IVF. Temping, then OPK's with Temping, then 3 Clomid with IUI cycles, then IUI with injectibles for a few cycles, then if hell fucking froze over, IVF.
It's awfully cold here in hell.