Monday, January 28, 2008

Dreading the conversation...

...that I need to have with someone at work. Someone being either my boss, or my boss's boss. About my vagina and our broken sperm and whatnot.

I was going to try to meet up with the head of our office on the 8th after my appointment, but it turns out that his calendar is booked solid until almost the end of February. Like, out of the office and out of town booked.

The way I see it, I have three options.

1.) Converse with my boss:

Me: Boss, we need to talk. I have a, um, situation...

Boss: No! Please don't quit! This place could not run without your inner wisdom and natural charm! *cries a little*

Me: No, nooooo...I'm not quitting, I just have to have IVF and miss a shitload of work! And you need to pay me for it like I was here! No reason to get all worked up! *passes him a tissue for he is a snotty crier*

Boss: Oh, whew! Please, take all the time you need. Actually, take your maternity leave, then ALL of your FMLA, then when you get back, we'll give you unlimited milk-pumping breaks and we will give you a raise and a million dollar bonus.

Me: May I also have a company car?

Boss: Yes, sure!

Me: This has been a good talk.

Pros: Obvious.
Cons: Maybe I'm being unrealistic?

2.) Be a little bitch about it:

Ohhhhh....I wonder if I could have my mom call my boss? Like, in elementary school when your mom had to call and be all "Oh, Jen has the runs today and can't come to school but she will maybe be there tomorrow." And your teacher was like, "keep that kid and her crappy undies away from my class."

Pros: I don't have to do anything. I like not doing anything if I don't have to.
Cons: I see no cons here.

3.) Do the sensible thing:

Get fired, go on welfare, smoke a little crack.
Surely then I will just get pregnant on my own without the help of science.

Pros: I'll get skinny, then pregnant, and won't have to work.
Cons: I hear crack is a tough habit to break.

As you can see, I am very busy weighing my many options.

Our policy at the office is that you don't have to take a vacation day for a doctor appointment. You just go, and come back if there is still time before your workday ends. Fine.

But I need to know if that applies if you have, oh, I don't know? 20 appointments, that are 35 minutes away from the office (one way) and that need to be scheduled with one day's notice.

I don't know, but I'm really glad that my RE is right by the mall because damn if I won't need a good shopping trip (or seven...teen) while this is all going down!


the Babychaser: said...

I'm torn between option number two and number three.... An upside with the crack-smoking: I hear it makes you feel real good.

My boss was unbelievably cool about my IVF needs, and I discovered that it didn't really mess with my work so much. I, too, have a 40 minute drive back and forth to the doctor (fucking beltway traffic--grrr...), so I don't get in to work on doctor-mornings until 10:30 or so. But as long as I stay late, no one seems to care.

Now that I'm rereading this, I realize that I'm really lucky and this probably isn't helpful at all.

Okay, here's a helpful tip: people don't know how to handle your infertility. Your boss will be very uncomfortable (especially if male) and desperate to give you anything you need. And now, when you're crying in your office or missing a lot of work, he'll know you have a REAL reason and you're not just mental. Sympathy is a beautiful thing sometimes.

Good luck, hon!

Malloryn said...

Option #3 sounds great -- that one really seems to do the trick!

I had "The Talk" with my boss and my regular client recently. Mind you this was just for the IUI, so I only had a few late mornings for the ultrasounds. I said that I was being treated for a medical condition and would be in a bit later on some days... but not to worry because it wasn't fatal nor contagious, and no, I wasn't pregnant (though of course I thought, but I want to be!). I think if we move to IVF, I'll have to be more specific about what's going on.